


What I'm Trying to Say

by angelsfalling16



Series: 20 First Kisses [10]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Baz is a disaster, M/M, and that's all I have to say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-10 21:49:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15958217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsfalling16/pseuds/angelsfalling16
Summary: Baz tries to tell Simon how he feels.





	What I'm Trying to Say

**Baz**

“Simon, wait,” I say as he’s about to walk out of our room.

“Did you – did you just call me Simon?” He asks, looking at me with wide eyes.

“Never mind that. I need to tell you something.”

“Okay…?” He slides his bag off his shoulder and sets it on the ground.

“I don’t want you to be one of those people that I remember years from now and wonder what happened to you,” I say, all in a rush. It doesn’t come out quite the way I wanted. It isn’t at all how I wanted to begin.

“What?” He asks.

“Just be quiet a moment, Snow. I need you to listen to what I’m saying. Please,” I add.

He opens his mouth to say something, but snaps it shut and nods. I’m a little surprised that he doesn’t protest or ask why I have the sudden desire to talk to him.

“There are people we meet and talk to and become friends with, but then, one day, that just stops. No warning, no goodbye. We just drift apart.” His eyebrows crease as I talk, but he doesn’t say anything. “Then, you’re left wondering what happened to them, why you aren’t still friends. You wonder what could have happened if you had stayed friends and become closer. You want to know what could have happened if you had taken the time to get to know them. Could you have been more?”

“Baz… I don’t understand. What are you even talking about?” He’s cute when he’s confused. He has a right to be because what I just said probably doesn’t make any sense. I was too vague.

“I’m saying…” I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. I can’t believe I’m actually going to tell him. “I’m saying that I don’t want us to drift apart. I don’t want to forget you. I want to get to know you better and be a part of your life.”

“So… you want to be friends.” He looks at me like I’ve completely lost it. Maybe I have.

“No! I mean, yes. I mean…” I rake my fingers through my hair, frustrated. Why can’t I get this right? I take a deep breath. Then, “Simon, I want to be more than friends.”

His eyes widen in shock, and he just stares at me. His mouth is hanging slightly open, and he isn’t saying anything. Oh no, I’ve really messed this up. I just sprung my feelings on him, and he is horrified by it.

“Or… or not. Friends are fine. We can be friends.” I say, trying to be nonchalant about it.

I’ve already started to turn to walk away when he grabs my arm. He spins me back around, takes hold of the back of my neck, and pulls me down into a kiss.

It isn’t a long kiss, but it’s perfect.

“Simon…” I say as he pulls away.

“I’d love to be more than friends, Baz,” he says. He smiles at me, and it feels like I’m staring at the sun.


End file.
